I’ve attempted to write this nearly three times now; each time I come back and decide it’s not good enough.
In reality, this blog is nothing more than a public journal, a place for me to be more open than I usually am with most people. In many ways, it’s a place that I find some amount of peace with, finding that I’m able to type through some of my problems or feelings in a more constructive way than just mulling on it.
But that’s neither here nor there; given it’s been four years since my last post, I feel like it’s overdue. Lots has changed in some ways, in many others nothing has. After so many changes, including a move to London, things have been hectic.
After a few stints in London, I ended up in a role at Twitch; it was a dream role really, something I never imagined I could’ve gotten at the time. It was a service I used often, a job in the gaming industry, and a generally massive opportunity to prove myself. I was left with a dilemma; with this new role came a required move to San Francisco, a city I’d never been to beyond the single in-person interview, and leave behind a city I loved in London, as well as the opportunity to make it my forever home.
It wasn’t an easy choice, far from it really, but I opted to take the new role.
Upon making that choice, I had to do so much; apartments, moving, flights, and more, and it was a whirlwind. Upon landing, I remember how nice the weather was, and how great it was to head to my new apartment (which was triple the cost of my Madison studio!). I remember that day fondly, and the following week was just chaos with purchasing new furniture and preparing for my first day.
That was over three years ago now. In that time, I’ve discovered a lot about myself and the things that matter to me, the things that just make me happy. As always, music has been my happy place, my source of energy when I’m feeling down. And I did listen to a lot of music during these three years, and so much of it live where I can really feed off of that energy. Gaming still gives me joy and escape, even though it’s my job at times, and I cannot overstate how much it’s meant to me to work with some of the brightest and most creative minds in the gaming industry and helping amplify their creative visions. What I do is not nearly as hard as what they do, and I don’t attempt to say it is; I’m just honored each time I meet someone even remotely noteworthy or have meetings with them.
Moving to San Francisco helped me find those sources of happiness and more; I was able to do things I only imagined I could’ve done only a few years prior. Burning Man, for example, was one of my favorite times in recent memory. I met so many amazing people, experienced amazing things, and, most importantly, was introduced to Aly.
Meeting Aly has meant so much in such a short time; she’s introduced me to some of the most genuine people I know, some of the most kind and supportive folks I’ve ever met. She’s opened her home to me and let me meet new people.
To Ryan, Natalie, Fire, Alicen, Kalyn, John, and many others I’ve met through her- you mean so much to me.
This group helped make COVID bearable, with movie nights on the regular and gatherings once it was starting to wind down; it was a group that could commiserate together or just have a good time together doing random shit.
As of today, I’m having to press restart again- but instead of a hard restart, it’s more of a New Game+.
In a month from this writing, I’ll be relocating to NYC. Years ago when I first visited the city, it captured me in a way I couldn’t imagine. Every year since then (minus last year w/ COVID), I’ve visited, and that magic hasn’t gone away. I feel drawn there- and with me having the opportunity to move there, I am seizing it.
It wasn’t a fun choice whatsoever; I’ve had to press restart so much in the past 6 years. This time- I’ve got a support structure around me. I’m excited for the future, but also scared.
I love you all.